Surprises
by Cecelia Pemberly
Summary: P&P After Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's marriage, Jane and Charlotte come to Pemberly to catch up with eachother, but Elizabeth finds out that a comment from Lady Catherine is driving Mr. Collins to his grave.


**Warning: I have only seen the movie with Tom Hollander. Whether the Mr. Collins in the first movie or in the book was short I wouldn't know. Please forgive me with this. If I have messed up any descriptions, it was done out of not reading the book.

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"Jane!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she saw her sister and Mr. Bingley emerge from the carriage. She ran down the steps of Pemberly in her simple navy blue gown. She embraces her sister tightly until she couldn't get any closer.

"You look fantastic," Jane told her..

"The elegant gowns aren't my fancy." Elizabeth looked at Mr. Bingley and she bowed to him. "How are you doing by the way, Mr. Bingley?"

"I'm doing very well, thanks," he said smiling. Mr. Darcy looked at him emotionlessly and bowed.

"Please, come in," Mr. Darcy invited. Jane and Mr. Bingley locked arms and followed behind Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth looked back at Jane who was looking at the manor in awe. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Charles, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to spend some time with my sister," Jane said in her soft tone.

"Oh, of course." There was another smile. Jane returned one before turning around and running away. Elizabeth walked through the halls with her soft steps only making a slight echo when combined with Jane's. She saw Jane's eyes move about the corridors admiring the general slender.

"This house is certainly that of a man who makes £10,000 a year," Jane commented.

"Most certainly. It is quite a change and a hard adjustment. I have gotten lost more than once. Is that pitiful?"

"Not really because this house is enormous!" Elizabeth took Jane into a side room off a corridor with dozens of marble statues of people such as warriors, goddesses and the Darcy family. Elizabeth's bust would soon be added.

The room was a drawing room. There were three sofas with elaborate fabrics. Charlotte was already there. She looked up from her stitching of one of her husband's jackets. There was a large window on the far end of the room with a bench in front of it. The curtains were made of scarlet polyester.

"Oh Jane!" Charlotte exclaimed in almost the exact way Elizabeth had.

"It's so wonderful to have you both here!" Elizabeth said. "We haven't really had time to write letters and discuss news. "We'll start with you Jane, if you don't mind. From what I've noticed, Charles isn't bumbling on when talking anymore," Elizabeth commented.

"He hasn't since our marriage, thought he did start up again when I was giving birth to Matthew. Then he stopped. I'm thinking now that it was a factor of nervousness." Jane sighed and started to laugh. "And to think that before our marriage I thought it was a fault in him."

"You never think ill of anybody!" Jane let out a laugh. "Speaking of ill, Charlotte, what is wrong with Mr. Collins?"

"He is ill indeed," she said quietly.

"May I ask what he is ill with?"

" Ill with insult. You know of Miss Anne De Bourg, yes? She…she passed away last week. That left Lady Catherine in such grief. She nearly turned Robert and me out of the house." Elizabeth was shocked. Anne had to be only thirty or so years old. "When Robert went to comfort her, she was so angry that she insulted his height! I know he isn't like Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy, but she's never done that before! So ever since the incident, he hasn't been eating or working in the garden. I try to help but he ends up shooing me away."

"I told you he was ridiculous!" Elizabeth blurted.

"And now I'm starting to believe you! He says having a child may cheer him up, but it makes me uncomfortable thinking about it. I feel like I was pushed into this marriage. A house and protection doesn't make up for a husband who doesn't listen to you."

"If he doesn't listen, don't talk, do something!"

"If you don't, you will have no voice and both of you could perish! In fact, let's go find him now and try to act some sense into him! Jane, grab some fruit from the basket over there. Charlotte, get Fordyce's Sermons off the shelf. They are in order by title." The girls ran about the room gathering the needed items. Jane nearly tripped over the arm of one of the sofas when one of the apples slipped out of her hands and under her foot. Charlotte ran her fingers over the book's bindings to find the desired title. Elizabeth peaked out the door for anyone who may know of the men's whereabouts. She saw Georgiana round the corner.

"Miss Elizabeth!" she exclaimed.

"Georgiana, since your brother and I are married, you can call me Lizzie. Miss Elizabeth sounds too proper."

"Sorry Miss…Lizzie." Elizabeth looked at Georgiana. She had the cutest smile, almost cuter than Mr. Bingley's.

"Have you seen your brother, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Collins?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, I haven't," she replied looking into the room when Charlotte screamed when she feel on the apple Jane had dropped. "Well aren't you enjoying yourselves…"

"Would you like to help us help Charlotte with her ridiculous husband?" Elizabeth asked.

"Certainly! My fingers are tired from practice but I haven't gotten my share of amusement. Is your husband Mr. Collins?"

Charlotte nodded.

"Then _most_ certainly! He's miserable normally, and if he is more so than normal then I'm sure many people will follow considering he's a minister. May I ask what is making him miserable?"

"Lady Catherine's d-" Elizabeth caught herself because she remembered that Anne was not only Lady Catherine's daughter, but Georgiana's cousin. "Lady Catherine's disgusting comment about his height."

Georgiana wanted to giggle, but like Elizabeth and Jane had done during the story, she didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Georgiana, is there a Bible in this room?" Elizabeth asked as she looked over the bookshelves.

"Oh yes!" She ran over to the window seat and opened a drawer underneath. She rummaged through many papers and ink bottles before pulling out a black bound book with pages that looked golden from the outside.

"Does anyone know any verses dealing with miracles?" Elizabeth said while laughing. Each of the three girls said something different. "Any miracle that would be fitting?" There were a few moments of silence.

"Jesus feeds the five thousand!" Charlotte said. Jane and Georgiana both nodded in agreement.

"It's agreed then! Let's go!" Elizabeth said. Jane had gotten tired of dropping fruit so she grabbed the whole basket. Charlotte had Fordyce's Sermons against her chest and Georgiana did the same with her Bible. They ran through the halls, sounding like four little girls running through the house like it was a clear pasture. Elizabeth and Jane put their ears up to doors to listen for any conversation on the other side. Georgiana ran up to a door with a small side table with several books and documents on it. As she put her right ear to the door, she heard Mr. Collins.

"It's amazing that the news has not yet reached you, Mr. Darcy. After all, you were her cousin."

"I never said I hadn't gotten the news of her death. I just preferred to keep it quiet about it to Georgiana and Lizzie," Mr. Darcy's voice added. Georgiana's eyes widened.

"Hiding it from them, Georgiana especially, will only make it worse when they find out on their own." That was Mr. Bingley.

"You're right. I'm going to go tell them now." Georgiana heard Mr. Darcy's chair get pushed back and she gasped. She turned around and took off running. She grabbed Elizabeth's shoulders and pushed her and the Bible forcefully against the wall.

"You know some I don't, Lizzie. Which one of my cousins is dead?" Georgiana was using a tone that Elizabeth had never heard come out of her mouth. She was angry and extremely upset. "Tell me!"

"Anne De Bourg…" Georgiana let go of her shoulder and the Bible dropped to the ground with a loud 'BANG!' Elizabeth heard a door close and footsteps start toward them. She saw Mr. Darcy standing right in front of them.

"So I assume Charlotte told you?" he asked. Elizabeth nodded.

"It's quite alright, Lizzie. I just need some time to get over shock is all." She bent down to pick up the Bible.

"Darling, we need to talk to Mr. Collins, but not alone. In fact he can't be alone." Elizabeth looked at everyone's feet. "Jane! Take off your heels!" Mr. Darcy gave Elizabeth a perplexed look.

Mr. Darcy opened the door and the girls walked inside. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Collins stood up and bowed. Mr. Collins's face was so pale it looked as if he had just come out of bitter weather. He looked like he hadn't shaved in a week. When he sat down he rested his elbows and lower arms on his legs. It caused him to hunch over, something none of them had seen before. Another thing that surprised Elizabeth was that he wasn't talking, but sighing.

Charlotte walked over to her husband and set her book in front of him. He looked up at her for a few seconds without a smile, only a sigh. Charlotte looked at Georgiana. She had marked the passage with her thumb. She opened the Bible and held it on her palm.

"From the book of Luke: When the apostles returned, they reported to Jesus what they had done…" Georgiana kept on reading while Jane passed out fruit to Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. Mr. Collins looked at both of them with the most innocent eyes Elizabeth had ever seen. She could hear his stomach growl as the two other gentlemen ate their apples.

"We have only five loaves of bread and two fish-unless we go and buy food for all this crowd…"

Jane put the basket outside and she handed an apple to Elizabeth and Charlotte.

"They ate and all were satisfied. About five thousand men were fed, not including women and children." Georgiana closed the Bible. Elizabeth and Charlotte took bites out of their apples while Jane got one for Georgiana. The room's only sounds were the crunching of apples and the growling of Mr. Collins's stomach. He buried his face in his hands and sighed before shouting at the top of his lungs "Why must you torment me so?!"

"Mr. Collins, in the passage it said 'not including women and children.' You are acting like a child! Being married to men such as Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley still gives us the status of women but we would be included in the count. I would as well because I'm Mr. Darcy's sister."

"You think your life revolves around Lady Catherine, but that is far from correct," Elizabeth added.

"She was grieving and as you just proved, one's emotions can take them over," Jane continued.

"One comment shouldn't put you in this state, my dear," Charlotte said calmly.

"That's because it wasn't any ordinary comment. She said it so forcefully. Her exact words were '_A ferret like you shouldn't be here to pollute the air with contaminated words mocking the Lord's book! Anything done decent around here should be done by men who can reach the top shelf of my bookcase on their own_!' Not only did she insult my height, but my preaching as well." Jane saw him over his eyes with his palms and sob. "How would you feel if Lady Catherine insulted you like that?"

"She has, Mr. Collins! She has insulted me in every possible way. I stood up to her and she stormed out of the house as insulted as I was." Elizabeth was recalling the night before Mr. Darcy had proposed to her for the second time.

"We're thinking that's what you should do as well, Mr. Collins," Georgiana said. "It's time you listen instead of talk and don't care what people say about you.

"Most certainly," Mr. Collins said. Jane handed him an apple and he ate it like it was the last on Earth, and to the surprise of everyone, he got up and embraced Charlotte so tightly that she couldn't move her arms. And even with his scratchy voice, he laughed.


End file.
